Friday, 15 March 2013

Ham and Cream Cheese Ramen

Oppan ramen time! Heyyy, sexxy lady... *horsey dance*

Welcome to Ramen Atrocities 101.  I'm your host and today we will be consuming -

Ham and Cream Cheese Ramen!

Broke?  Bits & pieces in your fridge which won't make a proper meal?  Folks, ramen (or ramyun, or rameyon) is your friend.  It is kind, forgiving and hides the dead bodies for you gets along well with even the most improbable accompaniments.  It's almost the Mother Teresa of noodles.
It's especially parent-friendly, being fast, cheap and you can hide a myriad of vegetable and proteins in it.  So bugger feeling bad for not feeding your teenagers organic quinoa-and-samphire salad sourced from you local farmers market... or something.

"But a dairy product in soup noodles?  Madness I say!"  Or... madness, I said... until I actually tried it.

I saw this lass doing it, and vowed that my next instant noodle foray would be more than a meal, it would be an experiment.  I'd heard of the whole ramen-with-cheese thing before, but regarded it with a deep suspicion normally reserved for emails promoting discounted Cialis.  I did not approve.

So - the main finding of said experiment was *drumroll*... cheese is bloody delicious but it has to be plebeian cheese.  This cannot be overstated.  The cheese of choice is processed 'plastic' cheese, such as Kraft singles because of the silken manner in which it melts into the soupy noodles.  Actually, pretty much any Kraft cheese product works.  Nothing with a rind, nothing you can't buy from the supermarket or corner shop.  The cheese must be the cheese of the people - dairy as democracy, if you will.

Ahem, where was I?  Oh yeah - ramen.  Try it like this - it tastes (surprisingly) delicious.

You will need:
1 x packet ramen/ramyun/rameyeon/ohcomeonpeoplewhat'swiththephoneticspellingalreadyIgiveupgeez
1 x slice of ham, sliced into strips
1 x desired quantity of not-posh cheese.  Today I just chopped off about a finger's width from a block of Philadelphia cream cheese.  If you're a beginner to ramen madness, I recommend starting with one slice of square, plastic-wrapped cheddar and taking it from there.
1 x chopped spring onion for garnish and guilt-appeasement greenery

Note: Broccoli florets, frozen peas, corn, baby corn, shredded carrot, bean shoots, bok choy and other vegetables can be added with remarkable success.  Just make that your vegetable matter is adequately sliced & diced so as to cook quickly.  Experiment.

2013-03-15 00.45.37

I use Shin Ramyun, a popular Korean brand.  It comes in Red (spicy, you'll need a glass of milk to go with it if you're a pedas* weakling like me) and Black (more beefy than spicy). Hey, if it's good enough for K-pop stars Beast, its good enough for me.
One day I'll have a pantry full of products endorsed by celebrities.  Classy.

So, there are two packets of flavouring - one soup base and the other unnecessary chaff added just to make you feel better about eating something green dehydrated vegetables.  Rip 'em open and throw the contents in the pot with the round noodle cake.
Add enough hot boiling water to the pot to cover - or more if you like it soupy. Simmer on medium-low heat for about 4 1/2 to 5 minutes.

Accompaniments!  Sliced ham and cream cheese I had left over from making icing for a carrot cake.
Look at me making use of leftovers! Ooh so thrifty frugalista yeah *dances*.
Add the ham to the noodles and stir, letting it get nice and hot.  Aww yiss...

Pour out into a bowl.  Place the cheese evenly on top, then sprinkle on your spring onion bits.
Then eat, dammit, EAT.
The cheese will melt and it goes creamy and oh-so-nice, like when you add dollop of sour cream to soup.  Sooo gooood. 

Thank you for experiencing Ramen Atrocities 101! My work here is done.

*pedas: Malaysian or Indonesian term for the chili-esque burn as found in food.  I prefer this over the word 'spicy' because gingerbread is spicy but won't blow your head off like a chilli-packed rogan josh.  Semantics matter.

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